"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"

This is a song by Death Cab for Cutie. Lovely lyrics. Read on

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Entwined

When you held my hand
Our souls reached out
The stars threw spears
The tides refused to fall

I was your ace, you said
Tucked away in your sleeve
To be played at the right time
I lay in wait, alone, in vain

Days, weeks, months, years
All passed hidden in your sleeve
One day, along came a spider
The rain did not wash him away

Today I am left with nothing
Nothing but a memory
A memory of ten fingers
Entwined forever, in a hopeless wish

Behind Blue Eyes

Listened to this song after a long long time. Beautiful, moving song. Read on.


No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

[Chorus:]
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

[Chorus]

No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

[Chorus]

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes.

And Fear Strikes Again

Welcome back Fear, my old friend
How I missed your pitiful company
I yearned for the times we locked our eyes
And partook of the pain that lay beneath

How I longed for the skies to darken
For acid rain to scar my skin
The purging of my mediocrity
Only possible when you come knocking

I crave the time when I was a stranger to you
When your ghastly tentacles hadn't gripped my soul
And damaged it forever; leaving it in shreds
Bleeding and stripped of all its pulchritude

I lie helpless, naked and cold
As the wind strikes my flesh, again and again
I lie hapless, naked and cold
Bearing you, Fear, a gift from my progenitor

A series of disjointed nonsensical limericks

There once lived a young boy
In whose life there was no joy
After much bawling
He found his calling
And dedicated his life to farming soy

There once lived a little jerk
Who fancied himself a turk
His opinions were too racial
Like a leper giving a facial
They just would never work

And on their travels they found
The Earth really was bloody round
They stood on the steeple
And watched all the people
And they dared not make a sound

They befriended a fiddler of yore
Who really was quite a bore
She was tarred and feathered
It left her oh so weathered
It became the stuff of lore

They traveled together as a trio
Arguing Kafka and singing Dio
The fiddler fancied the jerk
And the boy made it work
And they shortened her name to Cleo

And now we come to the end
Your ears to me did you lend
The trio lived happy
The jerk became a pappy
Even the boy found a girl to befriend
__________________________________________________________________

My apologies. The words just took shape. It was them damn aliens that made me do it.

N

The Sunlight In Her Hair

She sits in her corner, quiet, beautiful
Swathed in pink past compare
Singing to herself softly, sweetly
With the sunlight in her hair

She twirls in play a handful of locks
Her song lifted by her stare
Flashes of shapely feet I see
With the sunlight in her hair

Her song wavers a little bit
The notes quiver in the air
I rush forward to hold her
And the sunlight in her hair

Her song was a eulogy
Pure beauty, not simple fare
I kiss away the tears that shine
Like the sunlight in her hair

I place her feet on my lap
And caress the skin so fair
I stroke her face and try to catch
The sunlight in her hair

It doesn’t stay, the elusive sun
The skies are a red so rare
I ask the girl if she will be mine
And the sunlight in her hair

Ecclesiastic Rant

Unique we are, all of us
The paradox of our time
The void of life nudges us on
Everything is meaningless

We die from when we are
Ash to ash, dust to dust
The abyss of time engulfs us
Everything is meaningless

Life is built up into Ambrosia
In its pursuit we trudge on
Once there, "Now what?"
Everything is meaningless

Choosing our paths as we go
We seek profit and gain
Nothing is ever enough is it?
Everything is meaningless

What is real is here and now
But we want what could have been
The graven images of our past
Everything is meaningless

Time, distance, space, fate
Our excuses pointing to hope
A dionysian fantasy, this
Everything is meaningless

Toothless grins, lopsided stares
As we journey from legs to shoulders
The grave does not discriminate
Everything is meaningless

The meanings we seek from life
Lie on the way, not at the end
For after all, when you think of it,
Everything is meaningless

This, as you would probably have guessed by now, is my way of venting, ruminating and generally contemplating. So here goes.

1. I'm becoming a huge fan and practitioner of the Madurai dialect of Tamil. Enna Landha?

2. Life now has no particular direction. I need to focus on something soon.

3. My temper also needs to be fixed. It's not that I'm always angry, but I'm always simmering. And that is the first sign of a sociopath.

4. I'm bursting with ideas for so many things. Somehow having difficulty choosing and expressing them.

5. I am in love. And that's all I'll say.

6. I'm hoping and praying that the project I'm involved with takes off successfully. It will change my life forever, and give me peace. This, I'm sure of. Insha Allah.

7. I thought my emotions had frozen. Apparently they have not :P

8. I want a tattoo. Three tattoos actually. On my left arm, the sloka, "Yadha Yadha Hi dharmasya.......Sambhavami Yuge Yuge" in Sanskrit. On my right arm, "Anbe Sivam, Azhage Sivam, Arive Sivam" in Tamil and at the base of my neck, "Asatho Maa Sad Gamaya, Thamaso Maa Jyothir Gamaya, Mrithyor Maa Amritham Gamaya" in Sanskrit.

9. I have to lose some weight. I've been putting it off for too long. That shall be fixed first.

10. I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss my team at Citi. I really do. Each and every one of those 15.

Thats all for now. Rant over, post over

From Hell

She stands across the street, laughing and talking
Her wares on display for everyone to see
The wine on her breath repels a few potentials
Someone mutters at her, "Domine dirige nos"

On this side of the street a man looks intently
Watching her as she invites and lures
With a crooked smile, he walks up to her
He whispers in her ear, and she bashfully grins

In the darkness of an alley not far away
Two were in the throes of passion - it seemed
She sees his pupils dilate, smells the laudanum
Before she can think, she feels the blade

In near darkness, we can hear metal slice flesh
We can hear his heartbeat, steady as a rock
As our vision clears, he stands and looks down
Down at his handiwork, at the art he has wrought

A splash of blood, a swirl of intestine
Blood spurts from the slash at her throat
Subcutaneous fat stains his perfect manicure
In his hands he holds her sweetbreads

Below the skin of history are London's veins
His rituals course with energy and meaning
He laughs at a private joke and thinks to himself,
"I have given birth to the 20th century"

Aham Brahmashmi

Standing at the banks of the Ganga
He surveys his grim surroundings
He catches sight of what he needs
The dopamine tickles his Aghori blood

Still as death he remains
As he wades into the Ganges
Immerses himself in her holy waters
And returns, carrying a corpse

He answers the call of the Wild Divine
The gravedwelling Lord, deity of ganja
He embraces the filth and decay
Knowing that it, too was beautiful

Deep in the forest, a fire burns
His hands play with a bone chillum
As he empties his cranial goblet
And takes his place as Bhairava

He seats himself calmly, royally
Upon the chest of his prize
With an offering to a deity he invokes
He proceeds to consume the beautiful flesh

It is over, the sacred ritual is done
Shava has at last become Shiva
He opens his eyes, red and fiery
Knowing the transcendence of his being

Slowly, but surely, I walk upto him
The trance enveloping my soul
I approach slowly and ask, "What are you?"
He smiles and says, "Aham Brahmashmi"

Om Namah Shivayah

What the F*&^?

I was thinking. No, it isn't a new habit I've picked up, it's a disease I was born with. I was thinking about things that make me want to say What the fuck to. You know, things that leave you dumbfounded, and not in a good way. So I'm going to just jot 10 of them down. If you empathise, please add to the list. Community healing is good :D

1. When a friend turns his/her back on you
2. When someone says you cut them off and then when you make the effort proceeds to do the same thing to you.
3. When you drive 50 kms in the dark on a bike with no headlights to make sure a friend is ok, and it is forgotten like it never happened.
4. When your parents just dont understand that the corporate life isn't for you
5. When you say the words "I love you" but you know you dont mean them.
6. When you go to school prepared for Geography but its actually History
7. When something as cheap and crude as money comes between to lives, tearing them apart.
8. When you do something stupid under the influence of alcohol. I know people like to act like they never have, but fuck you. You have. Maybe you hid it well, or you got lucky and nobody saw.
9. When you're sitting in the dark, just randomly thinking and some thoughts that you have buried, especially about a certain someone/something that you want to forget come zipping back and sting you.
10. When you see an 88 year old person take a lifetime prepaid connection :P

Cheers
N

2008 was a whirlwind. It began badly, got worse, then got better, stayed better and then went down a few notches. Last year, I thought things couldn't get worse. And then, Life proceeded to show me that I couldn't possibly have been more wrong. Ah well, c'est la vie I guess. But today something happened that gave me a lot of perspective and hope.

Every now and then, something happens that really blows your mind away. You do something that is completely unexpected. You call someone, expecting the cold shoulder. Instead, you receive warmth. You visit someone, expecting to be rebuffed. Instead, you are received with blessings.

When you least expect it, life hands you a good hand. This year for example. Just two days down, and my cards have improved. Drastically. Here's to more good things to come.