Random Musings Again

Yeah, well I've been posting a lot recently about relationships, but that's because I've been thinking about them a lot. Part of it is my inherent interest in psychology, but I think it's mostly my irritating Virgo habit of having to know why we do the things we do. And today's topic isn't very different from my past random musings, but the take is slightly different, in the sense that I will not stick to a set agenda. I am going to write as it comes. So here goes:

How many times have we taken someone for granted, especially over someone whom we know for a much much shorter time? In case that didn't make sense, try this - all of us, when we were kids, were very close to someone, and then when a new kid joined school, we spent all our time with them. Is that wrong? No. But is it clever? No. It is very difficult coping with being ignored, or being traded for someone else. Believe me. I know. For example, someone very dear to me was coming back from out of town recently. This person, whom we shall refer to as "it" from now on was very upset when it landed, although I was on top of the moon because it was back. When I asked it why it was sad, it replied, "I'm missing my friends. I've lived with them for ten days, and so I miss them". That kind of hurt. No, who am I kidding? It hurt a lot. In my head I'm thinking, bloody hell man. These people in ten days have become more important to it than I? I knew in my head that it would not keep in touch with these people the way it swore it would. Surely enough, it hasn't. Observation - I hate it when I'm right.

Doesn't it irk you when loved ones make plans without doing you the least courtesy of at least telling you when the plans were in conception stage? Wouldn't it be nice if we were told, rather than informed? I think so. No complaints, but it just kind of hurts when you're taken for granted. But getting back, I hate it when people whom you've known for a long time choose someone new over you. I just hate it. It devalues and disrespects the entire concept of the relationship you and this person share. I mean, it's all very well when you've spent virtually no time with this person. I very simply mean, its all wonderful when you're in love. Those stolen meetings, those sweet nothings, those melting kisses, all that jazz. But marriage and living together, well that's a completely different ball game. Actually living with someone is the toughest thing you will ever have to do. Tolerating them despite their little idiosyncrasies is very very hard but remember, they do it to. So the next time you're about to judge someone who is slightly "off", think about the things you do. You'll be surprised that a lot of the things you do are not exactly what I'd call "on".

I've actually seen and heard people comparing their boyfriends/girlfriends to their new friend of the opposite sex. Many of them have wondered why their partners aren't like this new friend. Well, friend, that's because you know nothing about this new friend. Ultimately it might even be the fact that this new friend reminds you of the old friend you need to be appreciating that drew you to him/her.

I know I've kept digressing, but here's the deal. Ok, your new friends are amazing, they're out of the world, and we all wish we were like them. But we're not that bad either. Give us the attention we're used to and you'll find that we're not as bad as we seem to have become. The simplest analogy I can provide is this: When we visit friends of our parents, we think that they're so much cooler than our parents. We even wonder why our parents can't be like them. We don't realise two things. #1 - we dont know how uncle and aunty behave when we're NOT around. and #2 - our parents weren't always this boring. They got that way paying our bills.
So stop taking people for granted. Because if you do, almost everyone you know will post an entry like this one.

Cheers,
N