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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Great Expctations

Life, it appears, is a bitch. No, I'm not being gender biased. It may well be a dog. Dont you hate it when you're taken for granted? When people just assume that just because it's you, they can do what they want and they actually expect you to forgive them. It makes my blood boil every time, but think of it from this way. Can you really blame them? No you cannot.

Pavlov with his dog showed how conditioned learning works. In the same way, people treat us the way they are conditioned to treat us. But here's the catch. Who's doing the conditioning? Its us. We determine how we are treated in the way we behave with and to people. In other words, people will treat you the way you let them treat you.

You cannot behave one way with somebody, and have them treat you in the way they naturally will in response to your behaviour, and then a long time later demand that they change. If you want change, I suggest you change the way you behave first. If you dont, there's going to be no improvement whatsoever and you'll end up more miserable than anyone else.

If you're feeling bad in a relationship - any relatioship. I do not restrict myself to couples - please open your mouths and say something. If that doesn't work, then do unto him like he was doing unto you. Use guile. There's nothign wrong with that. In such situations, if you've got no guile, and no game, you've got no relationship

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Why do I love her? I really dont know. I know its very hard for people to accept me saying that I love someone, especially because I have said it so many times before. I cant give you a list of reasons why I love her. But I can try and describe what I'm thinking.

Most of this she is reading for the first time, so here goes. The first time I saw her, I thought she was an angel. She walked into my life with the effortless ease that a hot knife cuts through butter. I am normally a person that gives no entry into my "world" so to speak to every tom, dick and harry. I found myself telling her things I didn't want to. I found myself wanting to tell her things I didn't want to. In an extremely short time, she became an essential part of my life. Coffee and sandwiches were never the same without her. In fact, they still aren't.

I felt myself feeling stronger and stronger about her everyday, and never admitted it to myself. I kept thinking, "This is HER dammit. She's practically my sibling. Or atleast thats what I keep telling her. How can I ever feel this way for her? No No, leave it". I never imagined that she too would feel the same way for me. One day I worked up the nerve to talk to her about it, and then, under extremely weird and movie-like circumstances, we started going out.

I cannot begin to think of imagining that I can describe how possesive I am of her. This girl is MINE. Every particle of her belongs to me. When she laughs, my world seems right. When she cries, nothing can console me. When she hugs me, I feel peace. She has this uncanny ability of bcoming my mother, sister, wife or friend when the situation calls for it.

This does not mean we have never fought. Of course we have. Like cats and dogs. We've even threatened to leave each other a few times. I know I have, at least. But no matter how huge the fight, no matter how huge the misunderstanding, one hug is all it takes to set things right. This is the only girl I can ever say I'm Sorry to and mean it. Now that I've rambled on a decent bit, I'll just say that I love her, and my life without her makes no sense. Realistically speaking, will I be able to live without her? Of course I will. But do I want to? HELL NO!!! Life is far far better with her in it....no let me correct that. My life is far far better with her AS it. i dont call her Jaan for nothing now do I?