Ok I am liking this concept of writing out a list of thoughts. Keeps me sane. Therefore, this is the next list.

1. Drumming gives me peace. I'm not exceptionally brilliant at it, but I'm good enough to be in a kick-ass band.
2. I want to spend an entire day sitting and staring at the ocean, marvelling at how it so beautifully mirrors life - calm, choppy, serene and sometimes scary.
3. I am giving up cigarettes as on Jan 2, 2008. Why Jan 2 because 31st night will extend into the first. Technicalities, you see
4. I still miss her. *sheepish grin*
5. I crash and burn very easily. Therefore, I shall not henceforth.
6. I wrote a short film in which there is a line that says "Love is not love until it's both ways" Now I see how stupid I was.
7. I always believed that love is not enough. I was wrong. If you love, the rest will fall into place.
8. Why am I such a sentimental moron.
9. Truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way.
10. Ilayaraja and MSV rule all.
11. My dream is to direct Rajnikanth before I die. Not before he dies - May he live forever.
12. Come to think of it, apart from the financial motivations, apart from the creative streaks, apart from my disdain for corporate life, apart from all that. Why I want so badly to make movies is because people told me I couldn't.
13. Damn I'm such a rebel.
14. Truth is, I wouldn't have it any other way.
15. I will not die before I own ENIL India, or at least sit on the board.
16. MundhiriPakkoda Productions is going to rock the world.
17. I suddenly came up with an alternate name - USP : Usual Suspects Productions. Let's see
18. I love her. I've always gotten over relationships rather easily. But I can't seem to get this one out of my head. That says something.
19....."whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth." ...."And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to acheive it." - The Alchemist
20. Most people think Che was a fool. I think he's a God.
21. "At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love.” - Che Guevara
22. I have learnt in the past two months that it takes more courage, more love, and more of a spine to clear the air with an old friend. Standing your ground and refusing to budge and rebuild a bridge you burnt is actually the spineless thing to do. It's a self-defense mechanism. It's not wrong, but it's not right either.
23. Nothing in life is worth getting a person you love or a person who loves you angry. Yes, I learn late, but I learn :)
24. I am happier than I was a couple of weeks back, and it is because I learnt this much in two months. Whatever had to happen happened because I needed to learn these things. About myself, about the woman I love, and about life in general. Now I need to act on them.
25. And so I set out, on my journey of action. Insha Allah, all will be fine. Actually, come to think of it, I know it will be fine.

Thennadudaya Sivane Pottri

I just want to rant. I've bottled up a lot of emotions in the past couple of months, and I'm venting now. No boys and girls, I'm not putting up some vulnerable post that people can all have coffee and gossip about, but this is just a list of random thoughts that come into my head, starting now. So here goes:

1. I hate hypocrisy
2. I don't appreciate being blamed for no fault of my own
3. I love my life either way
4. I miss Anjana Iyer
5. Lol, I feel this randomness is not going to last
6. I'm happy I made my stand clear today
7. I'm happy I had the balls to do it
8. I treasure my memories. Viciously so
9. Big FM had the best Rajnikanth birthday promo of all. It ruled
10. I relate to I am Legend - on many levels
11. It's scary what loneliness can do to you
12. Some choices are hard to make, but they have to be made. Pride-swallowing helps you make them
13. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - I don't know why I thought of that
14. Jim Carrey is a God in his own right.
15. God - Thennadudaya Sivane Pottri
16. Anbe Sivam should've been India's entry to the Oscars
17. I wish I could talk to her now
18. I hope she comes back to me
19. No, I'm not being vulnerable, you ignoramus
20. I've got to start writing down the stories I have in my head
21. Maybe that will make the voices go away, too
22. She looked so cute today. Pink looks good on her
23. This is the number of the day in May that she was born
24. Yeah, yeah, I think about her pretty much every waking second
25. I think I should end this with 26
26. Honestly speaking, the only question thus far in my infinitesimal blip of an existence that has given me any joy answering is this - Is she the one? My answer - Undoubtedly, unabashedly, definitely and unequivocally, YES. And somehow, knowing that makes me happy. I pray that she will share my joy soon

signing off,
N